The Recovering Choir Director

“If you want to destroy a society, corrupt the language.” - Vladimir Lenin

Mary Jane Ballou addresses the relative meaninglessness of the word “vibrant” as found in ads placed by parishes in search of musicians:

In church music position descriptions, we have often see the phrases: ”vibrant parishes” and ”vibrant music programs.”  The advertiser, of course, is the first phrase and they’re looking for someone to head up the second phrase.

But what’s “vibrant,” anyway? Sounds good, doesn’t mean much.

Admittedly, no pastor is going to write an position announcement that begins, “Sagging parish seeks musician to head lackluster music program.” At the same time, maybe this is one adjective that could go on vacation for awhile…

Here is the definition of vibrant according to Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: vi·brant
Pronunciation: \-brənt\
Function: adjective
Date: 1616

1 a (1): oscillating or pulsating rapidly (2): pulsating with life, vigor, or activity b (1): readily set in vibration (2): responsive, sensitive
2: sounding as a result of vibration : resonant <a vibrant voice>
3: bright 4 <a vibrant orange>
— vi·brant·ly adverb

Perhaps the word is better suited for a disco?

Another term found in the occasional church music job listing is “Vatican II” (”Vatican II parish” and “Vatican II music program”). Sometimes “proud” is added to this description (”proud Vatican II parish”), or “vibrant” (”vibrant Vatican II music program”). One has to do research to discover just what the copywriter means by using “Vatican II” in the ad copy.

Does the copywriter intend “Vatican II” to describe something like this?

Or this?

Sometimes, applicants can find solid information online and find out for themselves before submitting a resume and cover letter; other times, prospects simply do not know unless they take the time to contact the parish.

Does “Vatican II” mean “letter of Vatican II”, “spirit of Vatican II”, or preferably both? That a clarification of the base term has to be spelled out explicitly illustrates its uselessness. Far better would it be for parish ad copywriters to describe their church music programs in concrete terms. If constrained by a word or character limit, they can direct the reader to a website where a more detailed description may be found.