The Recovering Choir Director

Dedicated to all those who approach the latest GIRM with the attitude of a corporate ethics department.

Sung to “You Are the Voice” (David Haas, 1983)

Chorus: You are the voice
Of the living God
Sorry—our bad—the voice
Of the liturgist yelling at us once again!

Verse 1: Yes I am the liturgist, now hear me roar:
I’ll get in the way of God you adore,
With orders and mandates like never before,
To make all your Sundays a chore. (To make all your Sundays a chore.)

Chorus 2: For you are the voice
Of the liturgist,
Ordering us to sit,
Stand and kneel—oh wait, we won’t be kneeling again!

Verse 2: The Office of Worship has sent me a page -
Says, “Let’s force ‘community’ on this age!”
You’ll grip and you’ll grin and you’ll hug and I’ll spin
The GIRM ’til you’re livid with rage! (Spin the GIRM ’til you’re livid with rage!)

Chorus 3: ‘Cause you are the voice
Of the liturgist
Ordering us to stop,
Drop and roll, But we’ll never be kneeling again!

Verse 3: I’m here with an order – don’t think it’s from Rome –
To showcase Renee (moves like Salome).
She’s dashing and dancing and prancing and vex-
ing all you who just want to pray. (Vexing all you who just want to pray.)

Chorus 4: ‘Cause you are the voice
Of the living God,
Or so you think. You’re mere-
ly the liturgist testing our faith once again!